Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

The Set-up: Back in 2009 I got yet another attempt to advertise a product on my blog. I decided to have some fun with the salesman and his product. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

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From: Nick
To: John
Subject: text link

Hi,

I was curious what it would take to get a text link on your blog saying something like “Tungsten Wedding Bands” or “Tungsten Wedding Rings” with a hyperlink to our site [website address omitted]. We are a relatively new company and we are currently trying to improve our page ranking on Google. We operate on a small budget, and we would be more than willing to give you a tungsten ring from our site in exchange for a link. Let me know if this would be something that you would be interested in. Thanks for any help you can give us.

Thank You

Nick
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Perhaps they should give that acronym a rethink?!

The F.A.T. (Funny Acronym Tuesday) challenge is back.  Yeah, I know last weak I was a bit forgetful.  And yes, I know I still haven’t posted a winner from last week.  But I will get around to that on Wednesday.  For now let us just enjoy today and the current F.A.T. challenge.

Your first acronym is…

I.N.T.U.I.T.I.O.N.

Well since Darla reminded me, I should thank her.  Yes, I forgot my trademark game. Kind of gives you a clue where my head is at.

Your first acronym for the day is:

F.A.R.F.I.G.N.O.O.G.I.N.

This kind of stuff never happened when I was an 18 year old fireman.  Firefighters these days have it so good.

From the Dallas Morning News

Police [and Firemen] free 26 cheerleaders from elevator at University of Texas Jester Hall

“Police and firefighters were called to the University of Texas’ Jester Hall to free 26 cheerleaders who had crammed themselves into an elevator.

A group of 14- to 17-year-olds attending Texas Cheer Camp in Austin decided to see how many girls they could squeeze into the elevator around 6 p.m. Tuesday, campus police said.

The elevator successfully descended from the fourth floor to the first, but the doors refused to open…[To Read the Entire Article Click Here]


Well it is that time again.  Time to look through the search folder and laugh at all the poorly spelled, ill-thought, and just plain odd search terms that have led folks my way.  Also, for your benefit I have laced this post throughout with GRE prep vocabulary words.  Now you can learn AND laugh at the same time.

mens nuked photo

Somehow I think that the misspelling- a simple substitution of a u for an a- got this guy a whole different search result than what he intended on finding.  Imagine his horror, as he typed in this term seeking out photos of naked men and he instead found photos of nuked men- perhaps Hiroshima and Nagasaki photos?  That is a doozie of a difference caused by one wrong vowel.  In a way it is sad.  His sedulous pursuit of nude pictures of men is greeted instead with scenes of abject horror and destruction.  The real tragedy, somewhere someone’s appetite for porn was not sated– the reliance on spelling skills proved a fatal flaw in the internet’s porn delivery system in this case.

how to make sex a workout

First, have sex.  Second, you just worked out.  If you were looking to incorporate dumbbells and such, well, other than yourself, I don’t recommend using them.

sex stories to read (more…)

The winner of the first ever Funny Acronym Tuesday (F.A.T.) was Blessed1 with the acronym B.U.R.P. which stands for “Beat up Rude People.”  Admit it, haven’t we all wanted to?!

The winner of the second ever F.A.T. challenge was Teresa with the acronym W.H.A.M.M.Y. which stands for “Wookie Hippies Ate My Mangos Yesterday.”  This is a serious problem deserving of a fitting acronym.  Thankfully we have Teresa around to supply it.

The winner of the “Return of the F.A.T.” challenge (part III) was (more…)

Well maybe a return to the routine will cheer me up.  I decided to proceed with the F.A.T. challenge in hopes of getting a few laughs and reclaiming some normalcy in my schedule.

So with that said, let the fun begin.  The first acronym is…

D.O.O.F.U.S.

Yup, here it is, Hitler at a zoo standing in front of an animal\'s cage.  Which animal?  I don\'t know.  But there you go, just for the three of you who searched for it.

There you go, a picture of Hitler at the zoo. Weird, huh?

We begin with the search term that was good enough to become the title of this post.  Seriously, I mention going to the zoo twice and all of a sudden I get THREE hits from people searching the term:

hitler going to the zoo

This of course made me curious.  Are there three people out there who are really interested in seeing Hitler take a brisk yet leisurely walk through a zoo somewhere in Germany?  How odd.

im a big guy and i want to make sex more

Sorry, I can’t help you with that.  However, I can help with your syntax and grammar.  Why not try this search term next time, “I am a full-bodied corpulent man interested in finding a woman with whom I might engage in various acts of fornication and obtain a high degree of carnal knowledge of her female form.”  Hey, at least it sounds more sophisticated and less..uh..cavemanish.

kinky christian in relationship

So, what exactly are you looking for? (more…)

This morning when I awoke and checked my e-mail, there was a message from someone I had never heard of.  Her name was Jutte McIntos and her email’s subject simply said, “Re: It paays to Meen’s Heatlh.”  At first I was confused.  She had cared enough to capitalize only the first letter of each word, but she had included far too many extra vowels and scrambled up several consonants.  Why?  I went from confused to angry when I opened the email only to discover the following brief and unalluring message: (more…)

If you need some inspiration for this week’s funny acronym Tuesday challenge, just click on this recent post to see the longest (and funniest) acronym ever.  Don’t forget that the reward for this week’s funny acronym challenge is a full post dedicated to directing traffic from this blog to yours.  So for you traffic hounds and Tecnnorati rank obsessed folks it’s like virtual gold.  Extra points for those who work in current events or use big fancy words.

Why don’t we start out simply enough.  OCD was the last to post last week, so we will begin with her acronym.

S.U.N.S.H.I.N.E.