Posts Tagged ‘depression’

It has come to this.  The metaphorical tornado that is my life swept through over the last couple of months and now I have to assess the damage caused by stress, apathy, inactivity, distraction, and gluttony.  I hate doing this, always have, but it is essential to starting over.  It’s hard to climb out of the hole when you don’t know how far down you are (not to mention which way is up).   It would be far easier to sulk and stew where I am, ignore the depths to which I’ve descended, and find comfort in a blissful ignorance of my current condition.  After all, if I am unaware of how much I weigh now or how many inches I’ve added to my waist then I can’t have any depressing thoughts about how much ground I’ve lost over the last few months.  Well, I can have those thoughts, but as long as they aren’t confirmed by the scale and the tape, I can push them to the side and ignore them with much more ease.

No longer though.  This morning I braved the tape and the scale.  The knowledge I gained wasn’t pretty, but it was essential.  I have returned to a 37 inch waist and about 188.5 lbs.  This is still far better than the 209 or so lbs I started out at, but a far cry from my best weight of 166 lbs.  I did some chin-ups only to find I lost some, but luckily not a lot, of my upper body strength (down from 7 chin-ups to about 4).

But my workout for today isn’t going to be fun, nor will it be easy.  I designed it to be part fitness assessment, part penance for my previous apathy.  Perhaps it will be a cathartic exercise (pun intended).   (more…)

Advertisements

As all of you know I’ve dealt with some pretty difficult problems ever since this Sunday.  Between my beloved dog going from fully mobile to paralyzed in a matter of a few minutes to a major car repair in progress, this week hasn’t been easy on my head, my heart, or my wallet. [For those want more info: my car in the shop for a pretty major repair: heater core replacement].  Dealing with these issues really knocked me off my game so to speak.

We spent Sunday night at the Animal hospital until a half hour pas midnight- none of us has fully recovered from the combination of stress and a lack of sleep.  I probably could have started working out again on Monday but I am still carrying a feeling I can’t fully describe.  It feels like my head is in a dense fog and I just can’t seem to walk through it and find a sunny sky (or even a cloudy one that is at least cloud free).

It was just today that I confronted the question, how do I get out of this funk? (more…)