Archive for the ‘Blogs’ Category

If you need some inspiration for this week’s funny acronym Tuesday challenge, just click on this recent post to see the longest (and funniest) acronym ever.  Don’t forget that the reward for this week’s funny acronym challenge is a full post dedicated to directing traffic from this blog to yours.  So for you traffic hounds and Tecnnorati rank obsessed folks it’s like virtual gold.  Extra points for those who work in current events or use big fancy words.

Why don’t we start out simply enough.  OCD was the last to post last week, so we will begin with her acronym.

S.U.N.S.H.I.N.E.

AP Photo/State of Michigan, Department of Attorney General

The Worlds (Not-so-)Greatest Father?!

The man to the right, Daniel Everette (33) of Michigan was arraigned “the other day for charges of child sexual abuse and using the Internet to attempt child sexual abuse.” [1]

Oddly enough, despite the fact that his shirt proclaims his love for both wrestling and his children, no one yet knows if he has any offspring of his own or if he actually watches WWE wrestling.  Gosh, as if pro-wrestling didn’t have enough bad press in the last year already.

Somehow I doubt the WWE will be sending this guy free ringside tickets for getting their company logo into the public eye.

Bad Cop, No Donut…

John Stossel has a great article up over at Townhall.com about the extortion scheme known as the “STOP” sign.  Among the interesting things Stossel points out

1. Cameras placed at stop signs in New York and Michigan showed that 82 and 72 percent of drivers, respectively, failed to come to a complete stop.  Oh, and the cops didn’t either.

2. Stop signs are bad for the environment.

3. Getting rid of stop signs has been shown to save lives and lower the number of accidents.

4. Cops have a perverse incentive to get overtime pay by giving tickets at stop signs- and surprise, surprise, cops are not always honest.  Stossel reports how one cop made $21,000 in overtime pay thanks to all the time he spent testifying in court. (more…)

Top 10 Search Terms:

You’ll notice that the 1st, 7th, and 8th most used search term all focus on my sexercise article.  It sure has been worth its weight in gold when it comes to hits.

And while Total Transformation came in as the number 2 search term, if you added up all the variation of “before and after” on the top 50 search terms list of my blog, it would easily take the number 2 spot.

Last, but by no means least, Ninja Warrior made a strong showing- holding the 3rd and 6th spots on the list.

Next there are the top 10 clicks: (more…)

Since bloggers all over the blogosphere have their own little weird competitions and cooperative challenges (see Whatever Wednesday and Fill-in Fridays) I figured, why not try out my own.  This might fall flat on its face or it might be pretty funny.  Much of that is up to you guys, the readers.

The Rules of the Game.  I post an acronym and the first person to comment fills in the missing words and creates an unexplained acronym of their own.  The next comment fills in that acronym and so on.  Here is a short example.

I post the acronym: H.A.R.M.

Someone comments: H.A.R.M. = Heuristic Analogue Rental Meat.   S.M.A.C.K.

Next comment: S.M.A.C.K. = Serendipitous Musclemen Aficionados Cruising to Kansas.  A.W.O.K.

Make your response corny, odd, dark, wherever your sense of humor leads.  What do you think?  Swing on by on Tuesday for the first acronym of Funny Acronym Tuesday.

In the category of “D’uh!.” In the wake of Tim Russert’s heart attack the belief that “if we do everything right — eat healthy, exercise, undergo diligent screening, and get all of our numbers lined up in ideal ranges — that we can prevent heart disease, cancer, diabetes and forestall premature death” is taking quite a few hits.  [1]  While these methods are helpful they are not foolproof guarantees.  Then again, what in life is guaranteed other than death and taxes?

Are you a Metabo? You might ask what is Metabo?  Metabo is another name for a person who is presumed to suffer from Metabolic Syndrome.  And for those too lazy to click on the link here is a definition:

Metabolic syndrome is a compilation of risk factorswaist circumference, blood pressure, blood sugar, and triglyceride and blood lipids (cholesterol). Some say that the more of these indices that are “high,” the greater the risk for heart disease. [Metabo- Is a Small Waistline a Measure of Health?]

The author poses a question that provokes some…interesting…imagery

Is a smaller belt size to prevent heart disease like going braless to reduce risks for breast cancer? [Metabo- Is a Small Waistline a Measure of Health?]

The article also contains this gem which is too good to pass up. (more…)

Foul-mouthed gutter Santa’s talk about oral sex getting you down? Then swing on over to Musings, Rants, and Monologues to check out the hilarious and terribly offensive (not to mention juvenile) humor contained therein. If I might recommend a few particularly delightful posts for my new readers…

Check out Mahmoud Admadinejad’s most recent letter to the citizens of these United States. It is an awkward attempt to reach out, but well worth the read….

Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS)- it’s not just a disease, it is also horribly lame!

At the risk of inciting the crawling Google ad reader to post ads for Gay personals and porn on my site, I will repost a link to what can rightly be labeled, “The Gayest Debate Ever!

Ever curious about how you might find out if the government’s black helicopters are after you? Ever just want to craft your own far out conspiracy theories? Well, if you answered yes to either of those questions, this posts for you. I call it, “The Complete Blockhead’s Guide on How to Know when the Black Helicopters are Coming for You…” [WARNING: this post includes midgets, Lohans, Asian people, and incoherent ramblings]

And the series that started it all..

The Love That Dare Not Speak its Name…

Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Click each link at your own risk. I am not responsible if you wet your pants due to hysterical laughter.

Well, what are my blogging plans for the next month or so (at least the highlights)…

First, I will be writing three posts for StraighttotheBar.com.  [Click on the link now and see a video a guy bending a wrench].  Most likely the posts will be entitled:

“Eliminating the Lug Nuts: How to Find a Good Trainer.”

“The Power of the Negative.”

“Visualization: No Longer just for New Age Hippies.”

Much to my wife’s chagrin over at Musings, Rants, and Monologues I will be posting on my recent quest to build the perfect minority.  Trust me, it will be both offensive, sophomoric, and politically incorrect to the 1,000 degree.

And right here on this, my main blog, I will be posting on my recent struggles with food, our upcoming travels, getting a handle on credit card debt (our experience), and the kind of things you do to start a mental transformation that can keep pace with your physical transformation.  See you later!

Swing by StraighttotheBar and check out my latest posting on just a few varieties of repetitions that can add much needed spice to your workout. Moreover, some offer even GREATER potential for building muscle mass! Enjoy.

If you enjoy it head on over and Digg it.  Thanks!

Wanna see three things that made me laugh? No. Well then don’t click on this link. As for those of you in an agreeable mood, click here.

By the way don’t forgot that neat little link on the left hand side of your screen- no not that left, your other left. Be part of helping a dream a few small bucks at a time. If you need extra incentive, let’s just say, I know Santa and I can get you on the good list. ‘Nough said? I thought so.

Want to help out without donating?  Then look around [wink, wink, nudge, nudge] while visiting my other blog.  Get it?!  I mean full investigate everything.  Gosh, I am so bad at giving hints.

Over the course of this last year I’ve been amazed by the depth of the friendship within the world of blogging. I’ve developed some great friendships with some highly intelligent and socially well adjusted folks. Who would have thunk it, eh?! So it is about time I gave back to them, and linked to their blogs with a little snippet of appreciation for their friendship and all their kind comments along the way.

My only regret is that since I began this journey so many have given up on the blog world and moved on. So for all of them, you are missed, and I hope all is well.

But for those who remain, he is a tribute to you.

Bridget (A.K.A. Helvidius Pachyderm). Her posts are always intelligent and well-researched, her comments witty and enjoyable, and her affect amiable yet strong-willed. She is the first name on this list because in quality her blog is tops, in quantity her posts consistent, and in personality she is exemplary of the kind of warm-hearted atheist who makes Capitalists look like a positive force in this world. And maybe it warms her atheist heart to know I hope God will bless her so abundantly she can’t help but reconsider her position on his existence.

Her only flaw? Well if I must think of one, it is that she doesn’t comment on my blog as often as I would like.

Neil. He is nothing less than a great man who has completed more good in this world than I have ever thought of attempting. His theology is consistent, his blog a welcoming atmosphere even to those who consistently disagree, and his actions exemplary of how a Christian man should conduct himself. Here’s to you Neil!

Diana. Indeed, she is a woman whose beauty is only excelled by the depth of her compassion and love for God’s creation. Her blog is a poignant look into the struggles and joys of a daughter of God.

My various political allies and friends include: Debbie, Matthew, CavMom, Angel, Tammi, Velvet Hammer, and others I’ve unfortunately forgotten.

My non-political friends include: Tammy, Abarclay, Rachel B., Isaac, PinksandBlues (three very beautiful women who run a business) and others I regretfully forgot.

Religious friends include: The Epiphinator (A marathon running, discipling, beauty), Kiki, Timothy, MLBAH, and others I regretfully forgot.

Weight loss friends include: Israel (a recent friend, but he admires my work so he is obviously a man of refined and exquisite tastes), Lady Rose, and many others who haven’t commented on this blog in a bit so I couldn’t find a link to their blog. See the benefit of commenting often!

And don’t forget to check this out