Crazy Search Terms: Part…I Lost Count

Posted: June 27, 2008 in Funny, humor
Tags: , , , , ,

It has been about three months since I last posted a bunch of the crazy, weird, and perverted search terms people used to find my humble blog.  So here is a fresh batch to fulfill your desire for the oddities of the internet.

top 5 reasons why a woman marries a guy

Is this going to be like Letterman?  I really hope they are funny.  Oh wait, you expected me to provide them.  Sorry, I don’t do requests.

internet sex scams

Isn’t internet sex itself a scam?

gym is better than sex

You really need to change your priorities dude.  Seriously!  There is no piece of equipment in the gym that even comes close to….well I think deep down inside you know.

condom brand size chart

Got a long weekend planned?  Sorry that the only thing I have for you is a story about some condom thieves.

is sex good for 55

55 what?  55 nuns?  Then the answer is no.

tingting rimart

WHAT?  Are these words or just random sounds?

mr. chew’s asian beavers porno pictures

What could I have ever written in this blog that could have somehow been in anyway related to this search term?

al sharpton losing weight

I hadn’t noticed.  Thank the Lord he has ditched the tracksuits and medallions, but I don’t know about the weight.

how good it is to have sex

Umm…it is something you have to experience for yourself- within the bounds of marriage of course.

gay weight gain blog

So many questions.  Is this person seeking a blog that claims weight gain is “gay” (i.e. lame)?  Or is this a blog about a gay man intentionally trying to gain weight?

fat guy’s torso

Why limit yourself to just the torso?  Why not see the whole body in all its rotund glory?

And now two of the WORST and MOST DISGUSTING search term ever to lead anyone to this blog- with a slightly less disturbing term thrown in.  These terms are so gross that I am going to replace a letter or two with an * so they hopefully won’t lead here again.

exercised little g*rl sex with anim*ls

and

farm anim*les & g*rles

It is really disturbing to know that there is someone out there who gets aroused thinking of little children exercising and s*xually cov*rting with anim*ls.  Perhaps my already fairly cynical view of human nature wasn’t quite cynical enough?!

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Comments
  1. Teresa says:

    O thank goodness!! I thought I was the only one who somehow came up with sick child-related sex searches coming to my blog.

    I cant think of a single solitary thing Ive ever written that would bring someone to my blog! It had me worried there for a while. I just wish there was some way to figure out who thos pervs are, and mention them to the authorities…but that would invade their privacy, I suppose.

  2. Well I guess with the proper software you could find out their IP address.

  3. What makes the “exercised little g*rl sex with anim*ls” even more disturbing is that somewhere out there is a person for whom the extreme perversion of b*stiality isn’t enough. Instead they have to add in two other twists- children and exercise. If it weren’t so disgusting I would be laughing- well I guess one could consider it dark humor.

  4. Debbie says:

    Wow some of those are really funny.

  5. JudiFree.com says:

    YIKES!!! They are funny at first and then it’s just flat out scary! Who are these people???

  6. “They are funny at first and then it’s just flat out scary! Who are these people???”

    I would love to know myself. I have a pretty good hunch you can find some of them at the link below.

    Sex Offender Registry

    I should warn you, this is something you should check, but in all likelihood it will leave you worried- especially if you have kids.

    Sadly, I bet the majority aren’t posted there.

  7. Randy says:

    Last night something came on TV about the drug ecstasy. Sensing a teachable moment, I asked my 18 year old son about it. He was very descriptive, and said that ecstasy was like sex, only more so (I won’t say the exact words he used here).

    My mind immediately thought, “how would you know about either one?”

    I decided it better to let it ride..

  8. Some things are better left unasked Randy.

  9. blessed1 says:

    Those are crazy! How do people think of such weird search engine items anyway? I usually get spanish sex or love notes to husband. Mine are pretty tame to yours. This was funny!

  10. Well, Randy, if I get really desperate, and as that husband-finding thing won’t ever work out, I now know that I can get the same benefit from Esctacy.

  11. Teresa says:

    TT,

    I used one of those sex-offender searches, found three in our area (complete with mug shots), and showed thenm to my kids. Can’t be too careful.

    ‘course, my kids are older, and can put this information in proper context.

  12. Wait, did you just do that recently? Did you use the same link as shown above Teresa?

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