MORE CREEPY SEARCH TERMS!!!

Posted: December 9, 2007 in creative writing, entertainment, Funny, health, laugh, life, misc, search terms, sex, writing

Why is it that I post a few pictures of me shirtless, write an article or two about the health benefits of sex, and occasionally make a comment about the value of a healthy sex life in a good marriage and I get search terms like these…

weird fetish

Well that one was relatively tame, I admit, but how about these surprisingly specific and odd sexually charged search terms…

+humor +”calorie counting” +sex activity

So he wanted to get some laughs, some exercise, and some sex.  One of those doesn’t seem to fit.

adult magazine with hermaphrodite

I don’t have any recommendations to offer on this one.  Nope, none.  I swear!

gym sex

Although it might  be healthy and burns lots of calories, you might want to keep it at home.  But if you must use the gym, try the aerobics room.  And definitely DON’T try the treadmill, no matter how tempting it might be.  Trust me.

deliberate weight gain fetish

Um, how about a deliberate weight loss fetish?  That would be healthier and the food wouldn’t cost nearly as much.

fetish stuff

Unless your fetish is topless fat guys I can’t help you.

beyonces beaver

Why is it that people searching for illicit pictures of various parts of Beyonce’s anatomy refuse to use apostrophes?  Seriously, is it that hard!?

analysis of catfight fetish

Would this be actual cats fighting or women fighting each other?  Either way, it is weird.

sex exercise with photo

I don’t mind giving out advice, but you ain’t getting no pictures of me naked.  Shirtless is the best you’re gonna get. My apologies.

With the odd sex stuff behind us, how about this oddly specific search terms…

christmas rottweiler

Would this be a Rottweiler with a bow?  Or a special kind of dog with green fur?

pics fat southern cops giving tickets

Okay, this is possibly the MOST specific search term I’ve ever seen.  The kind of search term that makes you wonder what inspired this search.

sinus infections teeth long strings of m

I just have to know what the next word was!  Mucus? Monkeys? Marmosets?

nigerian baby pictures

Madonna?  Angelina Jolie?

“my forearms are burning” funny

The phrase in quotes doesn’t seem to go with the word funny in any way, shape, OR form!

fat guy on beach pic

I get this search term all too often- about twice a day.

“13 year old girl”

WHY?

fat rolls

I ask again, WHY?

things germans say

“I love wearing socks with sandals.”  Is that close?

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Comments
  1. Fat Man says:

    Those are some odd terms man. Some are even morally questionable. Sickos….

  2. The Christmas dog is clearly one given as a present. Sheesh!

    Let’s ask a more fundamental question about Miss Beyonce: why does your blog come up when people use those search terms?

    but you ain’t getting no pictures of me naked.

    Folks, please note the double negative. TotalTransformationTest will now be rated X.

  3. I shall promptly correct that small oversight…

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