Creepy Stuff in My Spam Folder

Posted: September 28, 2007 in blogging, celebrities, creative writing, entertainment, Funny, humor, internet scams, laugh, life, links

Warning:  The rest of this post does contain some sexual subjects.

Today’s entry in what will become a new weekly post entitled “Creepy Stuff in my Spam Filter,” comes to us from a spammer named bedIrrerb.  What that means?  I have no clue.

So without further adieu let us look at the weird, odd, and plain ol’ disgusting stuff he tried to post as a comment on my blog.

animal abuse video

Okay, this is pretty run of the mill weird stuff here.

vacation wife swap

I thought a vacation would be getting away from your wife, not just letting someone else’s wife tag along.  Way to exchange on problem for another.  No offense to my wife.  Sorry honey.

girl but

But what?

used child book

I didn’t know there was a big after-market childrens book buying crowd that sought blog comment opportunities to purchase said reading material.

i like big butt lyric

Ah, how I miss the mid 90s.

ny car insurance quote

We interrupt your varied and pointless ads for pornography to bring you this ad for New York car insurance.  Please enjoy.

bjs wholesale club philadelphia pa

I found this between ads for an*l porn and some kind of promise of nude pics of Britney Spears.

free hot man naked

Is said man free, as in liberated?  Or is said man free to anyone willing to take him?  Furthermore is he hot as in attractive or does he live in an arid climate?  So many questions.

carmen luvana free

I don’t even know who she is, but if she’s free I’ll take 12!

biggest loser matt

No, I think the title of biggest loser goes to whoever posts this kind of ridiculous spam.  Seriously, does anyone follow these links?

free big butt

Okay, I could use one of these, but I have already taken a dozen free carmen luvanas.  Anyone want to adopt a carmen luvana?  Free to a good home.  I just have to make room for some of these free big butts.

shit on a shingle

Would this link to a picture of feces on an actual shingle?

baby mmm

What?

queer as folk song

Sorry can’t help you.  But if you go several ads down there is an ad for gay “bear” love.  Maybe that will help you?!

break crazy girl gone spring wild

Syntax good not so?!

2 cheetah cinderella girl lyric

I find this truly offensive.  Someone actually listens to the Cheetah girls. DISGUSTING!

quiz your friends

Okay.  What is the lamest internet spam you ever received?

christmas recipe watcher weight

How many calories does clicking on the links to multiple pornographic websites burn.  Not many.  So you want want to avoid this weight loss plan.

pantie pooping

Further reason I am glad I don’t partake in the porn culture.  YUCK!

benjamin fart franklin in never proudly read school writings

Um, yeah.  I will just go ahead and close on that note.

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Comments
  1. mklasing says:

    This is hilarious! I got one today that said this:

    “If you feel faint-hearted because of the astonishing amount of time it involves to reveal what you’re searching for, cheer up because you are one step closer to your goal.”

    What!?! How does the spammer know what my goal is? Is someone watching me right now? Maybe I feel faint-hearted because I had two breakfast burritos and a large diet coke this morning and my heart is saying “I’m done with you” And what am I searching for? To my knowledge I haven’t lost anything. This spam has me so upset I have decided to go home, crawl into a fetal position and cry the rest of the day. Thanks a lot spammer!

    -Murphy

  2. in2thefray says:

    “Syntax good not so?!” And many more are to funny. It’s to bad spammers can’t be chained in front of screens and exposed to “impact statements” from those they’ve spammed. HAGWE

  3. I’m shaking laughing. Oh, those are good.

  4. john says:

    Shit on a shingle is actually pretty good. I think it’s technically creamed chipped beef on toast but growing up we always had creamed tuna on toast and called it shit on a shingle. Actually we only had it when my dad wasn’t around because he hated it.

    True story – it’s the early 70s and my dad is carpooling to work. Coming home one day he gets to complaining about how hungry he is and makes a wisecrack about how it would be just his luck my mom had made shit on a shingle.

    Sure enough, that’s what she had made. 30 years later and he still complains about it!

  5. Excellent story John! Thanks for sharing.

  6. abarclay12 says:

    “Pantie Pooping”??! Hi-larious. This is so bizarre, because today I’m planning on posting a “Spam of the Week.” I get the most troubling spam too. I like how you’ve listed it all and then commented on it. I’m only posting one spam entry, but your post is inspiring. I mean “Free hot man naked?” Was he enslaved or in prison before?? I love that one.

  7. DulceDiana says:

    Are you serious? I wouldn’t waste my brain in even trying to figure these out!

  8. Well Diana, these are the horrible things I endure for my readers. Pity me. 🙂

  9. mklasing says:

    I am anxiously awaiting this week’s entry….

  10. […] spam?  Ranging from the downright make you throw up disgusting to the weird (for more see here, here, here, and […]

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