The Best Christian Pick-up Lines

Posted: September 8, 2007 in Christianity, church, faith, Funny, humor, joke, Religion

WARNING: This is a bit bawdy.

I am not promising they will work, but all are excellent examples of Christian pick-up lines.

1. Are you married? [She replies “No.”] Good, because if you were what I’m thinking would be a violation of the tenth commandment.

2. In the mood for a good foot washing?

3. Want to help me fulfill God’s first command? [God’s first command is found in Genesis 1:28, “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number…”].

4. How about we go to my place and create a few good reasons to seek forgiveness and grace? [That ones for the antinomians in the crowd].

5. Want to come to my place and read Songs of Solomon together?

As usual, feel free to add your own.  I will post any good ones that show up in the comment section.

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Comments
  1. John Shore says:

    Ha! Too funny. For the Christian websites Crosswalk.com and Christianity.com, I recently posted a similar piece, “Pick-Up Lines of Famous Men in History.” If you like, you can read it here:

    http://johnshore.wordpress.com/2007/08/09/pick-up-lines-of-famous-men-in-history/

  2. Where do you come up with this stuff?? haha!

  3. Glad to see these weren’t as offensive as I thought they might be.

  4. storbakken says:

    Here’s a Calvinist pick up line: “Your name must be grace. Because you’re irresistible.”

  5. Wickedpinto says:

    I only got one of them.

  6. WhoreChurch says:

    I saw the Calvinist one Storbakken mentioned a couple months ago and then decided to write pick up lines based on each of the 5 points.

    If this post seems bawdy to you, you probably won’t publish them here.

  7. Send me the link anyway WC, I would be interested in reading them.

  8. “I only got one of them.”

    You apparently aren’t Christian enough. You should consider going to church more. HA!

  9. isaacme says:

    A christian comedian called “Nazereth” told a couple pick up lines in one of his routines. Here were a couple of them.

    Oh, you look hotter than the lake of fire.

    Are you wearing your glorified body already?

  10. Nice Isaac. Never heard of that guy though.

  11. I’m an atheist and I got all of them. :p

  12. What was the best/worst on you ever heard Bridget?

  13. Um, I’m an atheist, so no one uses Christian pick-up lines on me. Actually, no one really uses pick-up lines on me at all.

  14. Oh, when you said, “I got all of them” I thought you meant they had all been used on you. HA! Classic miscommunication. I’ll try and send a single guy your way to say something like, “Girl, your legs must be tired, cause you’ve been walking through my mind ALL DAY LONG!” Want me to send the first one I see?

  15. That’s okay. I’ve had enough excitement for a while.

  16. brahnamin says:

    how about the one the *angel* used on mary:

    no, really, it’s the holy spirit, that makes it okay

  17. Ian says:

    My favorite:

    “Your perfect, except for all the sin.”

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