Ever have one of those days where you feel like scrapping everything you’ve worked for because things are just that hard? Today, I came too close for comfort.

The problem. Well it is complex. Apparently my previous university gave me about $1,000 too much in subsidized Stafford loans. I didn’t find out about this until I got accepted to UNC-Greensboro for my doctorate. At which point I was told I couldn’t receive ANY unsubsidized Stafford loans because of the over payment.

The last three months have been a quest to find out who is responsible: Wells Fargo (my lender), North Carolina State (my previous institution), or Direct Loans (the federal program). I have been told of two possible solutions.

  1. I figure out a way to pay my lender (representing the feds) $1,000+ dollars. Such is impossible since we don’t even know how we will pay our living expenses this July (no paychecks for either of us). So how in the heck am I going to find $1,000 bucks?
  2. NC State sends Wells-Fargo the money back and in return Wells-Fargo cuts a new unsubsidized loan for the same amount. That sounds simple doesn’t it? Well it is. In order to do that I would have to apply for a whole new loan and the process would take 4 – 6 months. I start classes at UNC-Greensboro in August- two months from now.

I could just scream I am so angry. No one at NC State is offering me any help. No one at my lender is offering any help. And no one at the U.S. Department of Ed. is lifting a finger. Each one says it is the other two’s problem.

Meanwhile I have no clue how I am going to afford the gas to drive back and forth to UNCG- a two hour drive each way. Much less pay for books, fees, etc.

Please keep me in your prayers. This is taking a serious toll on my sanity and my stress level is way up.

I just try to have faith that God will provide and remember Christ’s words

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34.

God values me and he will never forget me. Although it is a struggle, I will keep my faith that the Lord will provide. Whether it means finding a job for the month, a check in the mail, or a kind stranger. I have faith God will come through. And I must admit I can’t wait to see how he does it.

  1. David says:

    A struggle indeed. Sometimes it’s very difficult to see where God is in things like this. Our “human-ness” clouds our vision and all we see is our condition. He will be faithful.

  2. Joseph says:

    I will most definitely have you in prayers. Remain strong in faith!


  3. heaintthroughwithmeyet says:

    it will all work out. I will keep you in my prayers 🙂

    Love Andrea

  4. girlymama says:

    said a prayer for you. that is so stressful. your verses were such a great reminder to me in my financial situation 🙂 thanks!!

  5. mommyzabs says:

    This has got to be so hard. I admire your faith through it though. God will bless you and I’m excited to see the way in which he does that. That will be quite the testimony 🙂 It’s amazing how when we are forced to completely surrender dependence completley on him we have such an opportunity to have our faith increased by the miraculous. God is good all the time and he will provide as promised. I will pray.

  6. wytammic says:

    I’ll be praying for you too. I hate dealing with financial aid. It seems like Tieki Rae never really knows her financial aid package until school is about to start. The beginning of her freshman year was exceptionally stressful as the financial aid office expected us to pay $2400 or so before she could start classes. We already had our plane tickets and were ready to take her out to move her into the dorms. It all turned out okay (and we didn’t come up with the $2400) and her sophomore year was much smoother. We chuckle because she has friends that never even deal with the financial aid office. Somehow, their parents were smart enough to save $200,000 for their child’s college education. 😉

  7. Jayleigh says:

    Amen, my brother in Christ. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your post today. Just when I feel like giving up, or freaking out, God shows me the way to stay sane and get back on track.

    I like your attitude, by the way, of not being able to wait to see how He works it all out. I love it when I can get to that point. I’m not there today, but I’m glad I didn’t give up or give in.

    God bless you, Brother.

  8. Laurie Jones says:

    Can’t wait to see how God works all this out. Keep trusting Him…He is so faithful, as I’m sure you know. Take care.

  9. stevereenie says:

    TT, sorry for the mess up with the student loan bureaucracy, hope all works out in the next two months…….. steve …………….. Next Stop Lauderdale

  10. DulceDiana says:

    I find myself at similar predicaments whenever I say, “God grow my faith”. I know I will be tested and tried like gold, but He remains faithful and true no matter my circumstance. Father God, I pray TT and his family to have strength and steadfast faith as they pass through this journey, I believe your Word: For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12 (NIV)

  11. […] charity), the anti-virtue pride, faith, how we pray, reaping what we sow, the wisdom of Proverbs, not getting derailed by life’s troubles, righteous hate?, our Christianity (and more), leaving the church, is the world comfortable with […]

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